Nico Aldape & Teddy Zamborsky, UChicago’s “Campus Circles of Hell” (2016)

“Third Circle (Gluttony): The Coffee Station

You stare at the dispenser with reluctance, but the tiredness and headaches you’ll avoid by pouring yourself a cup demand that make you fill it. Oh, how you wish to sip coffee that’s, for lack of a better word, remotely palatable. Knowing that despite the bitterness, this coffee isn’t the strongest of brews, you get cup after cup . The make-you-have-to-pee effects of caffeine aren’t helped by the sheer amount of liquid you’re drinking or all the sugar you put in it (looking at you, frappucinos, as delicious as you may be) to make it bearable. palatable, Alas, and you do have to go to class at a certain point, so you jitter your way out of the dining hall.” [. . .]    —Chicago Shady Dealer (May 14, 2016)

You can read the full list of the UChicago Circles of Hell on Chicago Shady Dealer.